obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

onesteppcloser:

imagine right before you fall asleep you get to see previews to 3 dreams and then you get to decide which dream you want for that night.

coluring:

sclez:

sweetbuttandhellabooty:

can we just take a moment and think about the time my dad accidentally made a fried egg that looked exactly like africa

image

i’m the most impressed by the fact the egg also has madagascar

madeggascar

eggfrica

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

jaclcfrost:

if you ever ask me to go to the movies there’s a 99.99999% chance i’ll say yes

even if i don’t want to see the movie

even if i’ve never heard of the movie

even if i’ve seen the movie before

no matter what i’ll most likely always say yes because i love the movies

phatticuss:

cumcream:

cumcream:

What did the cat say to the dog?

cats don’t talk

image